Into the Weekend 8.29.25

Throughout my life I have been the fortunate recipient of many honors (although the EGOT still remains elusive, for some reason). Loyal readers will remember that I received the best waiter award at Camp Echo when I was nine; my team is consistently ranked in the top 10 in Chicago; and there is a general consensus among all that my noodle kugel is the best in the Midwest. 

But none compares to the honor which was bestowed upon me for this weekend. On Sunday evening, I will be officiating at my niece Melanie’s wedding. With thousands of rabbis (literally?) drooling at the prospect of marrying Melanie and Drew, they selected YOURS TRULY to perform the ceremony and make their union official.

With no experience or credentials to speak of (a JD from the University of Chicago only goes so far), I graciously accepted this honor with humility -  and with absolutely no demand for remuneration (although a very nice expensive gift is always welcomed). That’s just the way I roll.

After much consideration and soul searching, I decided to devote myself to the seminary at the Universal Life Church. On the morning of July 28th - over a delicious toasted poppyseed bagel with cream cheese and a cup of black coffee, I set myself to work to follow my calling. At first the internet struggled to connect (these missions are never easy!). And then my friend Earl demanded we exchange our Wordle and Quordle scores, our daily routine. And then I had to walk the dog.  

But later that morning I was finally able to realize my dream with a simple click on my keyboard: my fellow ministers ordained me to the Church. I even took a screen shot of it: